don’t be a "Kiss the ass!"

Everybody hates a “kiss on the ass.” You know the type: always complimenting the boss, spending an inordinate amount of time in his office, bringing gifts, expressing compliments, offering to run errands, etc.


Some people are so insecure, desperate, manipulative, or ambitious that they will lower themselves to any level to get what they want or need. A “butt kisser” is someone who flatters their boss, tries TOO MUCH to please, perhaps agrees with everything the boss says, offers more praise than is warranted, deserved, or reasonable, etc.

It’s unflattering behavior, though it can take a lot of flattery!


Employees have various reasons for siding with the boss. Sometimes it is a sincere liking or admiration, but many times the motivation is not so pure. All employees want to look good to their boss and be on his side. The boss is usually the “gatekeeper” for promotions or raises. In difficult times, the boss can also determine job security.

All individuals recognize the power of the boss in relation to his career, but selfish employees try to take advantage through disingenuous tactics.


Some naive or needy bosses may not recognize the nature of “ass kissing” behavior. They may even think they deserve all the favorable attention and fail to detect insincerity and selfish motivation. Of course, most of the hits will feel uncomfortable, try to diminish the behavior, and will not react favorably.

The “KissAssers” may win, but they pay a price. They are vilified by their colleagues, perhaps spotted by the target of their KA strategy, and may jeopardize their own self-esteem.


You probably don’t want to have a reputation for “brown nose,” “kissies,” “kissies,” or any other negative or derogatory label. But:

— Watch your behavior and try to be genuine

— Have some self-respect; don’t give in to your basic behaviors

— Acknowledge the reactions of peers and colleagues

— Offer genuine support and sincere praise, as warranted

— Striving for balance and integrity


If you are the boss, recognize the impact that KA’s leniency of behavior can have on your staff. Your reputation, as well as that of the KA perpetrator, may be affected. You can even be accused of favoritism or disparate/unequal treatment. Your perception as an impartial person, who treats employees equally, will also be compromised. And you can inadvertently promote “kiss-ass” behavior.

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